she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize