Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize