btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize