just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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