You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize