Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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