glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
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I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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