just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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