so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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