they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I wish there were birth control emojis
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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