fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize