Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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