My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
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I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize