I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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