it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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