he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize