6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm at about main and main street
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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