he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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