You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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