Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize