if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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