Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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