4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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