Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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