Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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