If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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