she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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