do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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