My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize