he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize