does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize