Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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