okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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