My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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