I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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