...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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