dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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