ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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