we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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