I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Text me some of your sweat
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize