did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize