Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize