Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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