just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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