Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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