No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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