Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize