whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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