I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize