Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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